Advice About Wedding Vendors: You Are Still Their Client

Good Morning guys!

I had a DISASTROUS cake tasting yesterday night, and when I say disastrous I mean it! At first I was angry, but now I’ve thought longer about it I’ve decided to share my opinion about today’s wedding industry.

With the rise of blogging and wedding reality shows I find that the wedding industry has just imploded. Its gotten harder to navigate between professionals charging fair prices, and people who are moderately talented and taking advantage of the market and charging outrageous prices. In fact I personally think that the wedding industry is heartbreaking–because in my experience I’ve learned that a lot of vendors take the words wedding and hear ‘a bride who is willing to blow her budget because it is her special day so I will charge her extravagantly’. I will admit that I have heard the gamut from a lot of vendors who really only want to work with the expensive budgets so they will be featured.

One classic example I dealt with, was that I sourced 15-20 wedding photographers and the most shocking response was one that I got from a photographer who had been spotlighted on Style Me Pretty, and several other popular wedding blogs multiple times. I got back a response that they were not the right fit for me because they only shot ‘pretty’ weddings and did not do natural light weddings. Yes that is verbatim–they only shoot pretty weddings; they also continued to imply that they only shot weddings with wedding planners, and a certain amount of budget (read $$$).

Anyway which brings me to last night. I walked into this bakery who was a wedding wire + the knot best pick for three years in a row, and a highly rated vendor on yelp expecting to be wowed. I have never felt more horrified and even humiliated! It started off okay, by her asking me what I had in mind. I proceeded to tell her I liked Naked cakes, she proceeded to interrupt me and tell me the bakery didn’t do them because she found them ugly. That’s right guys she said ugly. I felt my humiliation rising, but I tried to salvage it by saying I had other cakes I liked to (because she was so highly rated!). I showed her  two fondant cakes. She proceeded to tell me they don’t do fondant, and did I check their website. Which I did. Then I listened to a lecture from her about how buttercream was better until finally I realized things were getting out of hand, and I had to say that I didn’t really care about how the cake looked–what was most important to me was the taste of the cake.

the offensive and ugly naked cake!

the offensive and ugly naked cake! (according to the baker)

At this point I wish she hadn’t led the questions to make me look like a damn fool, and had just sat down at the beginning and introduced herself and their cakes. I would have loved to know from the beginning of the consultation that they specialize in buttercream, and would only work from their previous portfolio. Anyway fast forward to the Q&A. Brides there is nothing wrong about bringing in questions from Weddingwire or the Knot to ask your vendors–if they make you feel guilty for asking relevant and good questions–they are not a very reliable or good vendor. When I asked her questions off the Here Comes the Guide list, she quickly responded that I shouldn’t worry because look at her awards. I got no definitive answers, and instead got served another heaping dose of humilation.

the offensive fondant cake I showed her!

the offensive fondant cake I showed the baker!

Brides? If this happens to you I want you to remember, you are paying them, you are still their client, and they should be trying to earn your business–not the other way around. Not only that, but also this is YOUR day and not theirs. The wedding industry is already so overpriced that I think you should get a vendor who is not only is willing to work with you, but one who is genuinely interested in your vision, and helping you achieve it–not just theirs. At the end of the day, some vendors are just looking for brides who will boost their portfolio. Wedding planning is stressful enough, make sure to pick one that actually cares about you.

Fun fact, I think I figured out this vendor got so many awards and reviews! At the end of the consultation, after being humiliated and condescended to I finally asked–“Do you guys offer a free top tier for our one year anniversary?” Guys. This is completely normal and a lot of bakeries do it for free and a bonus. The response? “We do, but we do it differently. We ask that the brides leave a review on WeddingWire AND the Knot before we give them the tier.” Bingo. Guys? It explains a lot doesn’t it? No wonder they got Best/Top Pick for both websites so many years in a row! They would have held the poor brides free cake ransom!

Images found here and here.


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